10+ Real Stories of Parents’ Lessons Backfiring with Kids
As parents, we always strive to pass on important life lessons and knowledge to our children, aiming to equip them for future challenges and opportunities. However, our good intentions sometimes pan out differently than expected. Sometimes, the lessons we attempt to teach can unintentionally lead to unexpected and, at times, humorously counterproductive outcomes.When my older son was about three or four, we realized he was starting to act very spoiled and materialistic. We always tried to make him see how lucky he already had it, but he constantly begged us for every toy, candy, and treat he saw anywhere and everywhere. Around that time,
I came across a great photo spread involving the photographer traveling worldwide and snapping photos of children with their most prized possessions.We looked through the photos and talked about each one. We finally got to one with a little boy standing on his cot with his one possession, a well-loved, dingy-looking stuffed monkey. My son looked at it for a long time. I could see his wheels spinning.
“Success!” | thought. After a long silence, he finally looked up, gave me a sweet smile, and said, “I want that monkey.”I tried the whole “have your kids quote chores for pay and bid against one another.” It’s supposed to teach them about working for their money and not expecting handouts like an allowance. It turned into every time I asked them to do something, they would say, “How much will you pay me”?I told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do to curb impulsive behavior. I am hearing about ALL THE REASONS constantly.One of my 5-year-old twins was still having occasional accidents because she would get so caught up in playing/doing something else that she just wouldn’t go and would pee her pants.
To combat this, we would give her a special prize of some variety when she wouldn’t have an accident. This, in turn, caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes for not having accidents (even though she was fine on this front beforehand.) We had to rethink our methods.Read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. The 6-year-old son pinched his brother or Something, so we asked what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, “Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff?”.
We didn’t follow through. And stopped reading parenting books.My kids were begging for a pet. I don’t want to take care of a pet, and I told them that they don’t clean up after themselves without me hassling them, so why would they clean up after a pet without me hassling them? I told them they could get a pet if they could keep their room clean for 6 months without me telling them. The youngest child proceeds to clean the room, then move clothes and a sleeping bag into the hallway and lock his door so his room can’t get dirty as he sleeps in the hallway.Taught my now 16-year-old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to Florida. There were few to choose from, so she was complaining.
My kid was 4.A woman was trying on pants and said something rude to my mom, who was asking my opinion, and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeeZed out behind me and told the woman, “Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!”My dad tried to implement the whole you MUST eat ALL the food on your plate in our house during meals. My mom was never a fan of that lesson, but my dad was stubborn, so she just let it go. Well, one day, my sibling had 2-3 bites of food left on their plate, and it was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn’t eat another bite.
Dad wasn’t having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone. My siblings realized they weren’t going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to vomit on the table and our dad. He stopped enforcing the rule after that.I am not a parent, but as a child, I noticed my sister wrote her name on the walls when she drew them with crayons. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her if she was going to graffiti things, she shouldn’t write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later, she was carving patterns into the wooden desk in the study and carved my name into it instead.I taught them to stand up for what they believe in.
All of a sudden, they believed veggies were the devil and bedtimes should be abolished.Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom’s life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.When my son was about 3 or 4, he asked how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age-appropriate explanation. He just looked at me, shook his head, and said ‘No.’ Very calmly but in a ‘I can’t believe you think that’s how it works’ tone of voice like I’d told him fake news.I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn’t know, but I was completely unprepared for him to simply not believe me when I told him the truth.
I just sat there, not knowing what to do while he went back to playing Lego.Nanny, not a parent. The 2-year-old was refusing to wear her hat. It was hot. I told her if she didn’t put her hat on, she would have to wait in the car. She started walking away from me, ‘Where are you going?’ … ‘Car’Me: We need to talk about you and your girlfriend. Look, when you are ready to have S- Son: Dad.. Me: Wait, listen to me. Son: It’s too late. Me: ……When my daughter was young, I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to give her an allowance. She had a few tasks to do around the house, and afterward, on the weekends before we would go out, l’d give her 5$.I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, and I thought nothing of it. Later that evening, before I tucked her into bed after reading to her, she went to her money jar, pulled out 2$, handed it to me, and explained that it was for being a good daddy