Old Couple…
An old man lay on his deathbed with his wife by his side.
He whispers to her, “Mabel, I can’t believe it’s almost over, and here you are, right by my side as always.”
She says, “I’ve always been there for you, dear.”
He nods. “When I lost the business and went bankrupt, you were there. When the bank foreclosed on our house, you were there. When the government came after me for ten years’ worth of back taxes, you were there. When the doctor told me I had six months to live, you were there. Hey, Mabel, you know something?”
“What?” “I’ve been giving it some thought here, and you’re a g@ddamn jinx!”
———————–
Hasn’t Been Sober Since
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”